*The following content contains detailed accounts of suicidal thoughts and ideation that some readers may find disturbing.*
On average, 20 Veterans a day take their own lives. This alarming statistic represents a need for change. Many of those who selflessly served our country are struggling in silence. These brave men and women faced extraordinary challenges on and off the battlefield. Too often, the battles come home with them… invisible, potentially deadly, yet preventable.
Every September, K9s For Warriors recognizes National Suicide Prevention Month. It’s the reality many Veterans face after returning home from service. They feel they have no other way to escape dark thoughts, painful flashbacks and frequent nightmares.
At K9s, our mission is to end Veteran suicide. We believe in the healing power of Service Dogs to restore confidence and independence in our Warriors. Our dogs are trained to bring comfort and support to military Veterans struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), traumatic brain injury and/or military sexual trauma. To date, K9s For Warriors has paired more than 1,000 Veterans with a lifesaving Service Dog.
Suicidal thoughts can look and feel different for every Veteran who experiences them.
As a U.S. Coast Guard Veteran, Jorel has lots of stories to tell. His job was to lead his unit on search and rescue cases. His vessel worked several situations each day off the coast of Florida. Many were life or death situations. He once saved a group of teens whose boat got stuck 25 miles offshore. Jorel once recovered a child with disabilities who couldn’t speak. He also rescued Hurricane Katrina survivors. Jorel feared he’d appear weak if he expressed the mental health struggles he was experiencing in this intense line of work.
“That’s not what I wanted as a mark on my career,” he said. “That I wasn’t able to do the job because I was soft.”
Jorel eventually had to leave the job after an injury prevented him from being able to drive the boat. That’s also when he noticed he had issues functioning on a daily basis. He says his emotions were coming out in ways he didn’t feel was healthy or helpful. He would feel an intense urge to cry while standing in line at a store. He felt angry over nothing. He didn’t know how to express his feelings. He felt like a burden to his loved ones. Jorel thought the only way to deal with these emotions was to end his life. He had a gun and convinced himself he wasn’t going to come home from work that day. But, stopping for a meal before heading to work may have saved his life.
He ate his sandwich in his car with the gun in his lap. Then, he saw an ad for K9s For Warriors printed on his soda cup. He decided to call and tell the person on the other end of the line what he was about to do. K9s staff talked with him to make sure he was safe. Jorel learned about the program and made the decision to apply that day.
“I’m glad that I made the call. I wouldn’t be here,” he said. “I would have been another body for someone else to put in a bag.”
Jorel met his battle buddy, Betsy, at K9s For Warriors in January 2019. Jorel immediately noticed Betsy was very calm. She didn’t appear anxious or antsy. He felt like he didn’t have to feel stress with Betsy by his side because she was watching his back.
“I know where I am is better than where I was,” he said. “I have the coping mechanisms, and I have Betsy.”
Jorel and Betsy have been together for more than five years. Betsy has changed Jorel’s life in ways ne hever imagined. He now feels comfortable talking to people and making friends. He doesn’t feel afraid to go out in public. He also bought a boat, something he swore he’d never go on again after his experiences in the Coast Guard. Jorel encourages other Veterans to ask for help – who need help to reach out to K9s For Warriors. He says the phone call he made on the day he planned to end his life ended up saving his life. Although, the wait for a Service Dog can feel like an eternity, man Veterans have told us that the wait is absolutely worth it.
“For Veterans who are unsure about a Service Dog, there is no negative side to this,” Jorel said. “No one will love you more, be more patient or keep your secrets better than a dog.”
Navy Veteran Ben agrees. After deployment, he was in denial about his mental health struggles. He says he had issues getting the help he needed, so he sucked it up and moved on.
He was sick of living this way year after year. Ben went to his back porch with his pistol. His wife happened to see him with the gun and insisted he get help right away. He learned about Service Dogs for Veterans, but never considered them for himself. He assumed there were people worse off than him who needed the help more.
Ben says talking about mental health issues was frowned upon in the military. He says seven of his Navy teammates committed suicide over the years. Three others, including Ben, are still alive.
“All of us suffered that much and I was going to be one of them,” he shared.
“It was on my mind, even after I started getting help, I was thinking that I didn’t want to be here anymore.”
Ben started researching Service Dog organizations and felt that K9s For Warriors was the right fit. There, Ben met Bergen, a rescued Labrador Retriever. Ben says people often ask him what Bergen does for him.
“The best answer is, he demands my attention,” Ben said. “Having him do that breaks me of my focus and I forget to worry.”
At K9s, Ben learned how to feel comfortable being out in public. Before, he would shut down in public, feeling unsafe in his surroundings. As their relationship grew and the pair bonded deeper, Bergen learned to sense Ben’s emotions.
“He knows when I’m going to get upset before it even happens,” he said.
Ben’s loved ones have told him that they see a big change in him since meeting Bergen. He wants to share his story in hopes it will reach other Veterans who were in the same place he was before.
How to Help
Veterans do not have to suffer in silence or alone. Reaching out for help can be a difficult first step, but there are people who want to help and who care very much. Here are some small gestures you can do that make a big difference for someone who may be feeling suicidal.
- Listening without judgement: Talking with someone who is feeling suicidal can be beneficial for them. You can also ask them what they need from you in this difficult moment.
- Finding resources: You can help someone find a therapist or other treatment methods that may help them.
- Contacting a crisis line: Encourage them to call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to reach a mental health provider 24/7. Veterans and their loved ones can reach the Veterans Crisis Line by dialing 988 and pressing 1.
- Calling 911: Contact emergency services if the person is a danger to themselves or others.
If you or a Veteran you know may benefit from a Service Dog, please consider applying to the K9s For Warriors program by clicking here.
