“I needed help. I had things going on that I couldn’t deal with.”
Tom is an Army Veteran who served for 15 years. As a medic, he was responsible for looking out for the health and welfare of fellow soldiers and civilians. His grandfather served as a medic in World War II, so Tom felt it was only right to follow in his footsteps. He loved getting the opportunity to serve his country and see the world.
“It really does take a toll,” he admitted. “It’s hard to take care of kids and not think of your own children, see their faces.”
The role never offered Tom time to decompress or work through his emotions. It was often casualty after casualty. He always had to put others before himself.
“There isn’t time to stop and think about yourself or do something about your feelings when there’s people with life-threatening injuries counting on you to save them.”
Tom started noticing things were different after his first combat deployment. He wasn’t sleeping. He felt depressed and anxious. He isolated himself from his family. But there was nothing he could do. He deployed again and fought through all of his feelings. It wasn’t until his third tour that he realized he needed help. Something had to change.
Posttraumatic stress disorder is a mental health condition that can develop after traumatic or even life-threatening events. While it’s normal to be stressed after difficult times, people with PTSD experience problems in their lives beyond the traumatic event.
Anyone can develop PTSD.
Serving in the military can expose servicemembers to traumatic events constantly, which can make PTSD more common for those who‘ve served compared to civilians. All the while, those in the military are told to “soldier on” and ignore their mental health struggles.
Tom reached out for help. He started going to therapy and taking medication, but the process proved to be frustrating. If one medication didn’t work, it wouldn’t be taken away. Instead, his doctor would add even more pills.
At one point, Tom was taking nearly 30 pills a day.
He continued therapy but felt like it wasn’t making much of a difference. Tom then nearly became a statistic: one of the roughly 20 Veterans a day who take their own lives.
“It came to a point where I was wanting and willing to take my own life,” he said.
According to the National Center for PTSD, symptoms can include reliving traumatic events, avoiding reminders of the event, having more negative thoughts and feelings and feeling consistently on edge. Many people with PTSD also struggle with suicidal thoughts. Several factors can be part of these life-altering symptoms, including nightmares, trouble sleeping or concentrating, feeling numb and being disturbed by loud or unexpected noises.
At some point in their lives, about 7% of Veterans will develop PTSD. The VA has also found that service eras can impact PTSD statistics in Veterans. Up to 29% of Veterans who served in Iraq can develop PTSD within their lifetime.
There is hope for those struggling with PTSD.
Tom had pushed everyone away. Luckily, an old friend, who Tom served with, reached out at just the right time. The friend suggested he get a Service Dog.
“I thought he was full of bologna!” Tom said.
Tom decided to do some research and found K9s For Warriors online. He had tried everything else and was willing to give up completely. Before he did, he decided he’d give this a try. It was the last thing he was willing to do.
While on the waitlist for his Service Dog, Tom finally felt like he had something to look forward to. The K9s team would check on him monthly and connect him with resources if he needed them. Tom felt good knowing that someone cared.
Finally, Tom arrived at K9s For Warriors in January 2023, ready to meet his Service Dog. He was excited and nervous at the same time. When he walked out to the play yard, he remembers thinking “this is it.” This would be a moment that changed his life.
The door to the play yard opened and Tom saw Titan for the first time. The Black Lab wasn’t apprehensive, immediately running up to Tom and giving him a lick on the cheek. Tom’s heart melted. This is what he had been waiting for. It was a journey 12 years in the making. It didn’t take long for Tom to realize this was the bond he had been missing.
“Even though Titan is a dog, he is also a tool in helping me manage my symptoms,” said Tom. “If I feel anxious, if I feel sad, if I feel like I’m starting to get upset, I can reset, love on Titan and block everything else out.”
After three weeks of training, Tom and Titan returned home as a pair. Tom was looking forward to relearning everything he once knew as normal: going to stores, events, outings with family and having the confidence to be out in public again. Titan helped Tom reconnect with his family after years of self-isolation.
“My relationship with my wife and kids has gotten stronger, not just because of Titan, but because of the healing that I’ve been able to do,” he said.
“My kids have their dad back and my wife has her husband back.”
Since graduating from K9s For Warriors, Tom found himself looking forward to the future for the first time in a long time. He has gone back to school and is studying to become a teacher. He discovered things he hadn’t noticed before in the world around him. Tom is like a tourist in his own city.
“I find myself thinking about things that I didn’t before, like my three sons and what they will do with their lives,” he said. “Maybe even grandkids someday, but not too soon!”
Tom says his biggest accomplishment is being able to be a part of life again. He wants to encourage other Veterans that help is out there.
“There are people that care,” said Tom. “There are people that want to make a difference for you, and you don’t have to do it alone. Asking for help is the strongest thing you can do.”
This June, K9s For Warriors recognizes PTSD Awareness Month.
To all the Veterans still fighting, we are here for you.
Watch Tom’s story in his own words here:
